Business leaders, marketers and brand managers need to be courageous enough to ask their customers insightful questions. These insights can reveal very confronting truths about how we are seen in the customers eyes.

It's a little bit like the pimply faced, vulnerable young teenage boy who finally conjures up the courage to ask the beautiful popular girl on first date. He walks over, taps her on the shoulder and then opens his mouth setting himself up for either total failure or conquering success. We have watched this situation unfold before our eyes in movies, classic stories or perhaps even experienced it first hand ourselves.

It takes courage to be that boy, and we cheer him on in admiration. What takes even greater courage is to get knocked back by our beloved and follow up with another - why? This could really hurt the boy. In advance we can already identify with his feelings of rejection.

I remember hearing a quote by one of my hero's Rev Billy Graham. He said "how can I turn my critics into coach's. Only someone who is completely secure in who he is and where he is going can have that sort of outlook toward those that can be quite harsh and often unjustly cruel.

In order to uncover our customer’s desires we need to use new and innovative ways to tap into their unconscious mind. Here's a practical research approach we've found very effective in our customer engagements: Instead of asking the same old questions about what consumers think about your brand, ask your customers what they think the brand thinks of them!

Harvard marketing professor Gerald Zaltman recounts a study where consumers were asked what they thought of the brand Mercedes. Consumers gave the predictable positive responses, such as "good styling" and "comfort," along with some negative responses. However, when the same consumers were asked what they thought Mercedes thinks of them, a number of negative answers surfaced. Customers made comments like "They don't think of us," "We're sheep," "They think we have money to burn," "They think I'm a child that doesn't know better." By asking this question, researchers unearthed a number of negative connotations that sparked important insights.

Such insights are rarely uncovered in traditional marketing and communication research, which tends to be conducted to prove a point rather than explore new insights and ideas.

So consider questioning your questions. The process of crafting new questions can unearth powerful new insights. Who knows you may even get the girl as well!